The Struggle of being an Introvert

'Haha awak ni kelakar, eee nasib baik comel!'

Mesti tersengih-sengih mcm kucing kena garu kepala bila korang dapat text mcm ni dari from your crush kan? Rasa happy je, macam dunia ni kau berdua yang punya. Mak suruh pergi kedai beli santan kotak pun kau taknak. Nak duduk menghadap phone tunggu si dia punya reply. Nak tgk crush kau punya reaction towards your text. Bila dapat reply yang memang kau tunggu, lagi berseri seri lah sengihan kerang busuk kau tu. Hahaha

Aku dah lama sangat tak rasa banda tu. It's feel like forever. Bila tgk orang dapat rasa benda tu, aku jealous. Seriously, I am.  What's wrong with me? Is it normal for a guy to feel this way? To experience this sort of issue? Is it even a issue? I don't really don't know. There a few yang try nak buat aku rasa macam tu but I just don't feel like it. I'm not into this romantic stuffs. I found it boring. But I want to have like to those guys had out there! To love someone and be loved by someone. Tersengih sensorang mcm beruk baca texts. Nak sangat rasa tapi tak dapat. Yes, I admit that I don't talk to people much, some people might think that I'm a snobby asshole. Truth is, aku memang pemalu tahap super saiyan keempat. Aku tk tahu kenapa. 

Aku tak macam budak lelaki lain. I mean boys my age in this town usually lepak during the weekend dekat Pavilion, KLCC, tempat tempat budak cool selalu lepak lah. Cari markah bak kata orang utara. Aku pulak duduk rumah main game, watching movies, books. Tahlah, tak tahu nak cakap dengan siapa. The sole reason I jumped into this blogging scene is because of it. I do have friends, but they didn't quite understand me. I mean they like the serious stuffs.

"So, where is this relationship lead us?"

"Hey, let's meet my parents"

"I love you"

I'm not interested in this kind of stuffs. I'm a bit like a joker myself. I like to jokes around. Make others people happy. Tapi terlampau happy sangat pun susah jugak. Mula lah berputik cinta tu. Ecehhhh ayat taman bunga Rama rama. Maybe there's someone out there for me. Someone like me. Weirdo, awkward around others, don't talk much. Like me. I hope. Well these are some of my rants of life. Peace out. Assalamualaikum.

All Hallow's Evening

It's the time of the year again folks. You guys might wonder what the fuck am I trying to write here. I mean this celebration is not one of the main festival in our calendar. Kat Malaysia ni, tk ramai yang tahu apa ertinya hari ni, tahu sambut je haha. But that's one of the things that I like about my country. Yes, we are a Muslim country but we are freely to choose what type of life we want to live. We are a bit different than our Middle Eastern friends. We are obliged to follow Islam's way but not as strict as in the Middle East. You can be an Antichrist, a freethinker, even a fucking Panda. It's your life, you are free to choose your poisons. Let's put aside religious views from this topic cause that's not what I'm trying write here. What I'm trying to write is Halloween. Costume's on people!

Mungkin ada yang tahu, mungkin ada yang tidak tahu. Ini adalah pengetahuan saja, tidak lebih dari tu. Bukankah Allah swt menyuruh kita untuk mencari ilmu? Ilmu Ada mcm mcm, ilmu dunia dan ilmu akhirat. Orang Malaysia tahu main sambut je, tak salah nak sambut but make it casual. Ini tak, ada yang sambut macam itu hari Merdeka pulak, sanggup berhabis duit including our own celebrities which most of them are Muslims. Kemon lah korang tu semua public figures kot, budak budak kat Malaysia ni semuanya follow korang as their own role model. Takut lari pulak akhidah masing masing. This is just purely academic purpose. Okay so as we all know Halloween falls on 31th of October. Halloween is actually a contraction of All Hallow's Evening. It's the evening or eve(malam sebelumnya) before All Saint's Day, the day in the Catholic Religion that commemorates those who have died and gone to heaven. Hallows is another word for Saints. To Dark Souls fan out there, 'Hallows' and 'Hollows' are two different things. Took me a while to figure that out, lulz. --'

So what's with the candy? I mean can it be other thing? This is where Souling knocks in. Souling was a practice in medieval England(King Arthur, Merlin, Robin Hood and such) where 'Soulers' went door to door asking the rich for small cakes(called soul cakes). In exchange for the cakes, those soulers would pray for their families. In addition to Souling, trick-or-treating was possibly also influenced by Scottish 'Guising' which features costumed wanderers going door to door but instead of cakes, they're asking for coins. Because we don't much feel like giving strangers some money or to trusting them to bake an un-poisoned desserts for us, prepacked candies does just fine. Better imo, lulz. In addition why is it Halloween features candies, apples, small cakes is because Christian's tradition holds that this day is supposed to be vegetarian, free meat whatsoever. That's why there's no meat being served on the this day. If any of my Christians neighbors wants to pass out burgers, that's cool with me tho, lulz.

Jack O Lanterns, one of the thing I like about Halloween. I'm a fan of my art myself, so I must admit that I'm truly amazed how the fuck that they carve this big round ugly ass fruit into something scary yet beautiful. They're originated from the term 'will-o-the-wisp'(???) which was the super Scot-Irish way to describe the phenomenon of the atmospherical balls of light that appear around bogs. Fun fact is the 1st Jack o Lanterns were made from Turnips. Holy shit.

Zombie. Dracula. Freddie Kruger. These are some things circulating on your mind when it comes to Halloween. The struggle to choose something to wear so that peeps will notice you. Heh, costumes. I mean why pick something scary for a celebration? Why must we dress like that? I'm confused. Thing is, the traditional focus of All Hallow's Eve was to make a mockery of death itself. So the point was to dress up as your fave dead saint to fool Death. But then I guess some folks in the 70's was like, 'Well, technically Darth Vader is dead!' and things just got out of hands from there.

There you have it guys. A little insight of what Halloween stands for. These are some of the info I got. To my fellow Christians out there, I wish you Happy Halloween. Have a blast one. To my Muslim brothers and sisters, don't be a dumbass. Just do what I did here, congrulate to those who are actually celebrate it. No pressure tho, it's your life anyways and I want no part of it. Just express my opinion. Peace out. Assalamualaikum. 

Fuck..

.....There, my first entry and word for this blog, heh. Hmm not much to write about since I'm new to this blogging thing, a friend suggested to me that I should open a blog. I don't know why maybe she just tired with me bitching too much about how sux life is. Could be. So yeah, here I am and that's that. What goes into this blog are purely from how i see my life is, people around me and it just an opinion from a kid's mind, nothing more.  Oh yeah, English isn't my native languange, so please excuse for any future mistakes. I'll update some stuffs later on, until then.