Living in a shitfest

Its all fucking shit.
It's shit shit shit shit shit bollocky fucking shity fuck.
It's all fucking bullshit.

I don't know what to do. Nobody knows, nobody feels it, nobody gets told no sorry you can't do that & how many times do I have to hear those words? How many times I have to just deal with it? Just move on? How many people say those words and not realize its another long line of can't do's and say it like it's no big deal!! Well it is a big deal, a very large big fucking deal. Nobody knows how draining every fucking day can be. I shall just live 50% of my life because of this shity fucking illness that stops me, believe it or not, it's not just me and my 'illness' being the problem. It's other people, that just immediately say no or you can't do that as soon as they hear the magic word. It's like poison as soon as it's said! It's not fucking rabbis! I live with this every fucking day now and today was just one too many "you can't do that".
Complete fucking bullshit.

Hmmm oh on another note, I wonder if I'm one of the few who finds the spiraling number of humans deeply nauseating and depressing. Do you? It's not like I attach much value to my life anyway, but objectively it's all exacerbated by knowing that there are 7.5 billion other stupid Janes and Joes out there, all scrambling to survive until their death. This troubles me as of now am just sitting by myself in my little cubicle, and then I only have to step outside my door to be tripping over buggies, brats and their awful mothers who consider themselves saints.

And as we all know, the more there are of something the less its value, so don't be expecting too many people to be troubling themselves over your fate, they've got other things to be doing, like scrabbling for food in the dustbin and queuing up for their ration of Soylent Green.

I live in Kuala Lumpur, and hey, by standards of the new world mega-cities KL is a village, only 1.76 million milling around its market square. I met a Japanese last week, lives in  Tokyo and 30 million people there. Thirty fucking million of humans. What fucking madness is that. One guy I was talking to told me he got only 4 days off a year, such is the struggle to survive.

So a few basic points to consider:

More people means....  

less countryside....
less solitude, more people in your face....
more demand for endless garbage and crap....                           
more work and toil needed to provide said garbage and crap so....
longer working lives so.....
more pressure on social welfare and state pension.
more morons, as people tend toward the lowest common denominator....                        
so with more people, more vulgarity and crudity.

But as the morons say: It's all good.

I mean if I weren't AN on metaphysical grounds, surely I might pause to think that any kid of mine is going to face a tougher struggle for survival than me and previous generations. But no, biology always wins. Oh well, I'm just gassing to no purpose, and not particularly eloquently, but there you are, I'm tired and there are more new people to be in awe of.
Well it's time for me to go. Cried a lot and now I'm going to have a crisp sandwich and have some time to wollow in self pity for about half an hour. Then I will just move on....as always. Just chuck it in the FUCK IT BUCKET and move on.