I can't get over this shit

Girl : Do i ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy : No
Girl: Would you cry if i left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No way
Girl: What would you choose, your life or me?
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and in pain, and the boy runs after her, and tells her ...
The reason why you never cross my mind is because your always on my mind. The reason why i don't like you is because I love you. The reason why I don't want you is because I need you. The reason why I wont cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything is because I`d do everything for you. The reason why I chose my life is because you are my life.

That's what you made me feel every single fucking seconds. I’m starting to block out EVERYone and everything. I can’t go even a few minutes without my thoughts wondering to you, and to top it all off, EVERYthing reminds me of you. I can't fucking do this anymore. Arghhhhh I’m so fucking tired. I don't know what to do. I am so completely, deeply, madly, undeniably and eternally in love with you and it scares the fuck outta me. So fucking damn much. I keep trying to pretend that I’m not but I can feel it pulsing through my veins when I look at you. I can feel it tingling in my fingertips when I think of you. I can feel it violently vibrating through my bones when I hear you voice. I have always loved you but I never knew it to be this intense until I realized I can’t have you. I am deeply sorry that I’m so annoyingly complicated, I don’t deserve to even know somebody as astonishing as you but oh my Gawd I’m so glad I do. I’m a chaotic fire while you’re a calming sea. I love the parts that you like and other parts that you hate and little shady you and equally angelic little good girl you and the person you are around your family and the person you are with me and the parts I am helplessly in love with and even the parts that make me want to strangle you sometimes.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME???? FUCKFUCKFUCK

I miss you everyday. So so so much.Ughhh I hate this long distance relationship. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate the fact that I love you so fucking damn much. I am not prepared for this. Nothing in life has prepared me for this. Nothing in my previous relationships has prepared me for this. My love language is physical touch. From having cuddles and kisses on my hands to none is really hard for me. OHHHH it's so damn hard. I wish you were right here beside me. I wish I could hold your hand. I wish i could kiss your lips. Snuggled up with you just ‘doing us’ while enjoying this thing called life. I wish it wasn’t over.

However, this ‘US’ I am speaking of I FEAR won’t last. Actually, I’m convinced it won’t because of the circumstances we are BOTH dealing with at this time in our lives. I’m trying to remind myself that YOU are worth it. That WE are worth it. I’m just finding it harder to BELIEVE, TRUST, IMAGINE, and mostly ACCEPT. I worry also that maybe YOU won’t remember that WE are worth it. We worked so hard together as ‘US’ to make sure that we BOTH appreciated the others LOVE. and we were so fucking GOOD at it. We really were, we were soooooo good at being in LOVE. You made me a better me, a happier me. I miss that so much. I know deep down that I BELIEVE in love. I know that with time I will open up and be more accepting and less skeptical, at least I hope these things. I wish them to be true. You tell me EVERY chance you can that you Miss me, think of me, love me, want me, Oh yea…. you want me…. Now, THAT brings a smile to my face and warms my heart. You have been sooooOOOOooooooooooooo LOVING to me. You make me smile. You make me laugh, actually laugh, not that funny ha ha bullshit laugh I have been giving EVERYone for so long now, BUT the full on, from the pit of your tummy LAUGH. And I’m so scared of losing you that I cannot fully appreciate all of these things.Thank you for being one of the greatest things that came into my life. Thank you for teaching me so much about myself. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. I can never hate you because I know that everything you did was out of love. 

Anyway, baby, I know you won’t see this until tomorrow morning (your morning :*), and I know we’ll both be so embarrassed reading back on it, but I know it’s just one of those nights we’d both like to remember and reflect upon. I don’t like divulging extremely detailed and private areas of our life like this but.. well, to the fucking hell with it. I just want to be able to scroll through my blog, read this, and smile. I’m one of the luckiest person in the world, and this past month has been spectacularly unbelievable. Never in my dreams did I think I would have–or even deserve–an utterly sweet, kind, and selfless being like you. From the little things you do to the grand gestures, I’m grateful for every second we’ve spent together and I can honestly say that you were the change and the fire, the light that I needed in my life, and I hope that I brought just as much happiness into yours. You inspire me to be better in every way, every day, and you will always continue to be, above all, the best friend I’ve ever had. I adore you

P/S:

I wrote a poem last night from my phone but the dumb thing got erased. I’m quite pissed actually. Im still wide awake and hating life right now. I will just say I love you, I miss you, I’m trying to believe in US, I promise. Please don’t give up on me yet. I love you so much Elem :*