Thunder Bud for Life

I miss us, the old us. Felt like things were so much easy back then. It's different now. I don't know what went wrong, but I feel different when I'm with you. Is it me or you? Well, I guess that's what life done to us. I miss you but why do we had to talk? Feels like every time I want to bond with you, getting close to you, but at the same time I'm pushing you away too. Away from me. But in my defense, you're the one that went beyond my limits.

I'm not known for my patience. I'm mad at others, but you paid the price. Never my intention to do that. I'm truly sorry for that. Please forgive me. I don't want to lose you. Not you too. I feel like crap. The guilt. Ooh this damn guilt is eating me inside. Its too painful to think about. I don't want to lose you in my life but I can't give you a future that you wanted. I'm just not ready to lose you yet. Am I selfish to think this way? I'm not the kind of person to stick with someone for a long period of time but we've known each others for years. You're certainly one of my best bud over the years. Yes, we do have our ups and downs, but we always managed to keep in touch with each other. You had a way with me that some don't. I love you, I care for you too much, I love spent every nights chatting with you but I feel every single time we did those, I did more damage than I shouldn't have. 

Am I wrong to think that you're mine? You deserve happiness, I know that but I just don't want to lose you. I don't want to wake up one day and found that I wil l never hear from you again. Am I crazy? Maybe yeah. Why can't I get things that I want? I mean every time I feel good about someone, something fuck that up. Feelings. That's why life sux so bad. Its unfair and cruel. Is it just my life? Maybe its time for me to let you go. You're a beautiful bird, I have to let you fly free. I will never gonna hold you back again. You deserve happiness in your life. No one can deny you that right. Not even me. I know it will be painful for both us, but I would do anything for you. Even sacrificing myself for your own good. That is how much my love for you. Please forgive me.